Blah day not the Monday blah either

It’s not often that I get into these moods, and I sat here wondering what really has me so down. I started thinking maybe I am just tired, or maybe its just a early mid life crisis?

Then the next I get an email. I have google alert me anytime my Uncle’s name comes up, and today was the day I received that alert.
Back in January my Uncle passed away, it happened so fast and I really didn’t believe that it happened. Denial is something that doesn’t come to me very often either. He was in his late 50’s and when we received the call that he was in the hospital, it was like I felt as if I was outside of my own body looking at myself. My sister was on the other end of the phone crying, and I had a very hard time understanding what she was saying, but really I knew it didn’t matter as all I heard was hospital, and Uncle and it seems that the mind just fills in the rest.
I remember telling her I was on my way and got everyone together to race over there. The hospital is about an 1hr & 45min drive, I just kept thinking to please hang on until I get there please don’t go just yet. We got there but the machines where working for him, long enough until we and others got there. I started to become numb, and couldn’t even begin to breathe.

So, this email the google alert, was to tell me about a play that they are doing based on my Uncle and his partner of 35yrs life together. Which I had heard they were talking about, but I just didn’t know if anyone was going to go through with. So the alert came, and I wonder if my sub-conscious was working to prepare me for the email that I was about to receive. The difference that my Uncle has made for the GLBT community in his community was over the top. He was a dancer, teacher, director, and friend to many. He will always be missed. Its kind of ironic how I just submitted one of my blogs to be sent through to blogger which I wrote about him on that day, and this just so happens. Its as if he keeps telling me “The show must go on.